feet is murder: 12/01/2003

Monday, December 29, 2003

lyric 1:
"i, i, i, i, i ...keep waiting for our love to die.
the machines by its bed dim and flicker, but it won't stay dead.
and it perks up when the nurses bring its medication by.

i, i, i, i wish ...our love could go the way of all flesh.
but it's not right, and its not nice
to try and kill the same thing twice.
would you pack your things?
we are going to marrakesh."

----
the reason these lines end up on valentine's day mixer tracklists is tragic and obvious. But the song is not placed there to be tragic and obvious. Quite the opposite. It's not a bitter sentiment. And, to be revealing a little bit too much leg, it's not a sorry or sorrowful sentiment. Sure, it's resigned, and being resigned is arguably a negative thing... But, To be resigned in hope!?! (To be resigned in hope is just like my punctuation there: excitement, interrogation, terror, wonder, introspection, and then excitement all over again, because all these things are making gears turn) God, himself, I do believe, knows this is the most glorious state of all human conditions. It knows about change. It has an almost perfect repose. It is stalwart, yet it is unafraid to be vulnerable. And being unafraid is important and essential to doing anything. The best part about this state is that is knows the angles and attributes of both sides. It is like water, in the water's own cycle. It faces evaporation, it knows it will be beamed skyward, maybe making friends with a cloud--becoming part of that cloud--taking time and comfort being away from it's own sphere, and eventually returning to form--only as a pendulum swing might feel. It knows about the colder climes as well, and it will "play it as it lays" and go with the flow (or, as it were, the stagnation or lack of flow--since our molecules are slowing down during this chill), and we will freeze up and all people will be glad and waiting for that big old thaw, as springtime is aimed right at us, as certain and stinging and penetrating as Johnny Cash's middle finger. And these are the best months, but all of this relates around one thing or one vital care. And, as I quote: "and I want to be like water if I can/ 'cause water doesn't give a damn...," I know that all this talk and dancing around lends a fucked-up, inhabitable feel to the preceding lines--like a ghost occupying a body or a soul imbued into a new body that doesn't ask for one, but it also pleasantly startles & surprises the lines, (who, after all, exist for nothing more than to have flesh built around their bones) with a grace and clarity that can only be achieved this way and no other way and so it is the only way, as people are reasonable beings, and as I am not. And sometimes people need to be startled and surprised until they are alive, after taking a long respite, and we all need those and we all want both, so the timing's got to be right and the the cycles of seasons ride around on bicycles in four intersecting circles, like the ones we see in math class and only math class. and these collisions are the most exciting moments of all--for they are focused on relation and they are all connected through relation even if only some or a few touch and mingle phsyically. so, cheers to water in all of it's amorphous glory, it is my favorite state, if you can understand.
"

Giant Battle Monsters - p. w. vs Anais....soooo, looks like a stalemate, a deadlock, a draw. en garde! then. not really, i feel like pacifist really. i consider myself one and will continue on that path. but the great separating line between "lover" and "fighter" is a misconception. one must be both. 'tis all. i like how it says "Noise Attack!" at the bottom. and how can one breathe ice vapour and concurrently be vulnerable to cold. it doesn't make the least bit o' sense.

EducationGuardian.co.uk | Books | Review: The Story of V by Catherine Blackledge

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Monday, December 22, 2003

Bad Subjects: Ricci's Pieces

Friday, December 19, 2003

rules! of ! engagement!

Rules of Engagementa>

index

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Edith Frost - Shows I Saw

Airliners.net Aviation Forum - The Best Guitar Solo Of All Times!

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Hallelujah Acres: the biblical natural diet

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Joe Chemo: A Camel Who Wishes He'd Never Smoked

this gentleman, and his persona has beaten me to my calling, to my ambition, to my intrigues, really... i will be happy to go ahead, forge onward, and commit to nothing, live dully and modestly and dreamless, knowing that somone a bit older and wiser and more motivated has already explained, witfully (word?), expressively, passionately, and carelessly the truths of this world......as very few other people know them to be. mine would make use of only the sleightest variations so that it would be almost despicable, or reprehensible at least, to reiterate and invest something personal in it. this is the ultimately taxing feeling of being rendered to ride on another's coattails, and this is my way of coping. resignation to a not so disagreeable but inextricable oblivion. thanks.

LPTJ | This Week In Music

fakejazz.com

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

TISCALI

Expat Focus

metacritic: Film

Stop Drugs.org - "Tweaking" and safety

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

also, yeah, average joe. i have my speculations
about that. she didn't
want either of those guys. the one guy was sincere,
personable, funny, and
rich, and lived in NYC. she didn't want to bone him
though, she just
wanted to be friends and milk away some of his cash.
he could actually
offer her those kinds of fancy dates, he was rich...
the other guy was a
doofish college undergraduate, at 26. you'd think
the superficial choice
would be obvious--for a woman or a woman's
mother--it would be Adam---but
NO!. the reason she stayed with the other guy is
that she f'd him the
night they were alone in front of the fire--april
could tell and that
verified my feelings. he was a pithy little wench of
a sissyboy with
wishy-washy tendencies that would scare any girl
off... but this kind of
girl who was a power freak. she felt secure with the
cute loser because
even though the other guy was somewhat blundering,
he commanded her
attention by going above and beyond calling, and he
was very brazen with
his deliberatly romantic and pandering tactics.
plus, he (adam) was a big
old joo. the doosh winner guy was just an
"adorable" frame and she had
given up her delicately unfolding flower to his
flaky, cute
cabbage-patch-kid-with-stubble likeness. but
really, she doesn't give two
hoots about either and figured she'd just end up
hurting adam because he
was too emotionally invested in her--and she would
actually feel
reprehensible if she did that. so, she settled for
the nice vacation with
the guy she wanted to "invade her innerspace" as the
RZA would put
things... that way, no one with a brain would be
hurt. she could part
amicably with adam, which he did very well. and she
would not feel guilty
at all: she'd get the trip and eye candy to get
diqued by all weekend.
then, when it's over, she'll drop him like the
complete sack he is.